Dear Diary,
Sometimes when I'm in a shitty mood I want everyone to f**k off. I don't want to care about anyone's happiness or their misery. What keeps me on this journey? Sometimes I have no idea. Sometimes I could care less about everything. I can't explain the deeper calling I feel inside. I don't know why, I don't know how, I don't know why my soul signed up for this.
My ego mind wants to fight it all. My ego mind would rather not be public and instead be in a private island far far away from everyone and everything. My ego mind would rather not do videos, would rather not teach, would rather not show up. There's so many things I'd rather not do.
But yet there is something deep inside me that won't let me stop. I feel that if I stop, I will die. In fact I was dead, most of my life, even though I looked happy on the outside. I was confused. Why was I here? What was the point of all this? So we get born to go to school, get a job, get married, and have kids... That's cool... and then what? Why am I here?
I know it's not supposed to all make sense in every moment. Even though I wish it did. I wish I could see the rainbows. The rainbows that are promised when you start living your life purpose. For whatever reason, my life purpose is the only thing that's made some sort of sense to me. Even though sometimes I don't want it.
What I'm starting to realize is that I have to create the rainbows myself. I won't find them anywhere else. I'm tired of searching, I'm tired of looking under rocks. The teachers of our time and before say the gold is inside you. I'm starting to see that. I'm starting to see that. Slowly. Slowly but surely. The gold is inside me. The gold is inside me. The good news is, I can stop looking. The search is over.
The gold is inside me. I can start connecting to the gold inside me.
Thank you Universe for showing me I had the treasure all along.
Love,
Aditi
★. Copyright : ©. Aditi Ramchandani.(13. July.2016)
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*** Believe : "Happiness is a Choice & Life is Beautiful."
''Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara." Just keep Livin...!!!
Keep Smile.......!! Happy Living......!!! :) :) :)
Thank You, Good Luck......!!! :) :) :) 🌷🙏🌷
*** Posted by : © "Dhumkeatu's Diary" || 25.06.2018 || 🇧🇩
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